I am doing well. Settling into a new country, new friends, new ways of thinking. I have started going to the gym more often. I find that surrounding my self with people who are motivated and like going to the gym gives me a little push. I am beginning to enjoy it. Angie and I have started taking martial arts classes. It is a lot of fun.

This weekend didnt go so hot. It started with my crush fucking another chick. (In a different room, thank goodness!!) Going out to London with people I didnt know. It was a bummer because it was partly my fault some of the guys didn't make it to the concert they were trying to see. This morning one of the guys got sick so the group split into... people who are going back, and people who are going to stay and chill in London.

Today is Valentines Day. I am spending it with Angie. She is the best. We got each other gifts and then we are going to go to that class tonight. After all the mess of this weekend, I have decided to recommit myself to myself. I once tryed to go a year without sex, and Pepsi. Well, the Pepsi part has never really stuck. I did well without sex until, I had sex. Bummer. I believe one of the lessons I want to get down before getting married is learning to be alone. To be myself, and be ok with just being.

I give my self to my self on this Valentines Day of 2010. I will be single, work out, and have fun!!!! I will concur Pepsi another day. I might stop soon. I might also drink less often, it really drags me down and with my new found love of the gym, that isn't going to work out to well.

When I stress, I tend to wallow in it. I wallow with large amounts of Pepsi, chocolate, and chinese food. These are the things that hold me together when the world is pulling me down. Or when I am pulling me down and don't know it. Today I am effected by both weights.

The weight of the world: I cant get a drivers licence in the uk without a stateside licence. That will largely effect the way I live my life for the next two years. Not having a licences means I will not be able to get a car, I will not be able to move off base, and I will have to confirm a ride to work everyday as well as a ride home. The only positive things I see in being a pedestrian are: 1. More exercise and 2. I will save the money I would have other wise spent on the car

The weight of myself: I have been hitting the snooze button. That isnt unusual but it has begun to effect my job in a negative manor. I continue to behave and think in all these negative ways. It isn't healthy. I try to fix it but go right back to them. I just need to get it together <3

I haven't told my friend any of the hairy details of my last post. All she knows is that I have a tendency to hold my self back from doing all the things I want to do. We recently had an eye opening discution.  She is three years older than me and gave me something to ponder.

Everything we do, small or smaller, is a decision. I started to think. I decide to hit the snooze button. I decide to brush my teeth. I decide to have a good day. I decide to have a bad day. I decide to drink or not to drink soda.

I loved this concept. I haven't been late to work since. I have decided to take one day at a time. I make a lot of small, almost insignificant decisions. But all of those insignificant decisions add up to how I feel about my day, my week, month, year, life. Each day really affects the future. I am in control of my future by living today. By deciding to live today healthy and happy. You decide to have a healthy and happy future.

I love that woman.